have grace

I need to have more grace for those around me, this I know. I have not been a good friend, wife, daughter, or really anything else either. I have expected to receive more than I have given. For this I am sorry. I need to daily make the choice to give of myself, and have more concern for others than myself. Basically be a Martha. (not stewart:) This especially goes for those in my immediate family...Dean & Jonah...but especially Dean.

I found out something very upsetting & rather than coming from a loving place of grace, my anger was ignited. I am not proud of this, but it was my initial reaction. After reflecting & not reacting (& some Godly council), I realize change can only come from within. So even though I am hurt by this, (note the real emotion is hurt, not anger) I need to have grace.

This is not to say I will be walked on, or manipulated, because that is not what I am suggesting. Just that in the interest of preserving what I hold most dear, I choose to forgive, even when the offender doesn't ask for it, or know enough to know that they are the offender or that they have offended.

Please know that choosing grace is sometimes difficult, particullarly when you are totally sleep deprived & dealing with a sick child, but I will try my best.

Thank you Lord for loving me just as I am, and having amazing grace for me.