YEAH!

I finally after a week of muddling my way through all kinds of computer mumbo-jumbo...and nearly tearing my hair out...my new site is up!!! I welcome feedback, especially if you notice errors or spelling mistakes etc let me know...half of the typing occured much after midnight. Considering on a good day, my spelling is marginal at best...you can see where I am going with that! :)

I also have a blog that goes with it...I will put sneak peeks and monthly specials and other random musings on that.

Anyhow...I hope you like it :)

website

an "ah-ha" moment!

I really don't mind doing laundry...really. The sorting, loading, tide, fabric softner, the occasional bleach, hanging dry, and even folding the clothes. I really don't mind all of that. But, my one downfall...putting the clothes away. Often times the clothes will sit in the basket till they get worn, then the cycle starts all over. Usually what I do is as I am pulling the clothes out of the dryer I am folding them and putting them into the basket. then I bring them upstairs and there they sit. But the other day I was in a hurry and I dumped all the clothes in the laundry basket and brought the unfolded clothes up to the closet. I started folding the clothes but instead of putting them into the basket, I just put them where they belong. DUH! why did it take me 30 years to figure that out?!? :)

otherwise, not too much going on...Dean went to perham this weekend to work on the hunting land, and I am working all weekend...pretty boring...
my website will hopefully be "live" again soon...just doing some updates etc.

introducing...

the Meritcare 2007 Therapist of the Year!
Now, I am not really one to brag...but I am pretty proud of this award...it is voted on by my peers, and it's a pretty big honor. Dean insisted on taking my picture...right after my 4th 12 hour shift in a row (don't I look great?!?)

and here is a close up of my award...sorry about the reflection & the fact that it appears to be sideways!!!

just tired

I am getting ready for work, but I have to say, I am just tired today. I think I am fighting somthing off, because yesterday I was not feeling super all day...but I just powered through it.

Dean's aunt passed away yesterday...she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a month ago...she was in a skilled nursing facility the past weeks due to her weakness. Dean did had the opportunity to spend some time with her over Thanksgiving...how greatful he is for that. She was Jerome's sister.

One more day of work, then a few days off...I actually have easter off this year...how exciting! I love Easter!

bad news for American christians

so in church today we were studying revelations 3:14-22...
and here are a couple nuggets that I took away
1. when you are "room temp" about your faith, your intensity for God evaporates
2. you cannot help someone until they realize that they have a need

the problem with our society is that we have everything that we 'need' at our fingertips...if you want ice cream at 2 no problem, if you want give your spouse flowers stop at the florist on the way home...if you want to eat dinner tonight, just call papa johns. most anything you could think of, is available at the tip of your fingers, but that only blinds us to our deepest need for God and a relationship with him. that takes a little more work and commitment.

well...I am making banana bread and I think that it is ready, so thats all I have for you today...if you want more info on our church service from today click here and click on listen to sunday's message

super cute video

I saw this on a friend's myspace...thought it was pretty cute...and after the last "heavy" posts thought my blog could use a little humor



I am off to walk my dogs now!

see below 1st...part 2. more on my eye ( long post again :)

So I had been having these monthly treatments and they were working, but not only are they painful and expensive, they also shut off a process in the eye that is natural...and they don't really have a lot of data to show long term effects (this drug is usually meant to treat elderly people with wet macular degeneration).

the bony tumors can crack and up through the cracks blood vessels grow and eventually they leak due to the limited amount of space there...that is what causes the vision changes, and bleeding. so that is what makes this like wet macular degeneration.

so we were going along with pretty much monthly treatments to my right eye...and had a few bleeds and kind of a rocky road...but in October we made the decision to not treat...and I didn't have an injection or 3 months. Then in Jan. of 2008 I had an area...a "freckle" that he was concerned about...we decided to treat before it bled. I had an injection in jan, but in feb when I went in, it had bled anyway. So now the blood is starting to re-absorb, but still had a treatment this month.

Ok...how I feel about all of the above...
Before Jan, I was really putting a lot of my faith in Lucentis (the drug), Dr Jordan, etc. but I realized that as much as we/I want things to work out...no bleeding, no treatments, etc. I have no guarantee. I was really devastated when I had to get a treatment in Jan...I just wasn't expecting it at all...I really thought I had put it behind me. But God had other plans. I didn't understand them, but He did. I really think that this is more about God's challenge to me (&Dean) to put our faith in him, that he cares much more about my vision in my right eye than Dr. Jordan, or even we ever could. I feel like this is the journey that He has given me to trust him and his plan for us.
The other element to this journey is that pregnancy and Lucetis are not compatible. Lucentis is an endothelial cell growth inhibitor...big fancy name for ... it prevents the growth of new blood vessels. So of course since pregnancy involves the creation of new blood vessels, and they have not studied this drug in that setting, they have no idea if the drug would cross over to a baby or not. Now, this does not mean we have given up on having kids, we just have given that to God too. If it is his perfect will for us to have kids, he will provide a way. So, that is where we are at these days.
I have been listening to a radio program in the mornings called "revive our hearts" it is specifically aimed towards women...and they were covering the Lord's prayer. The one line that struck me is "thy will be done" we cannot pray that prayer, and retain our own will. And sometimes God's will won't mesh with what we think we want...but like she said...it would be our will if we knew what God knows if we have a heart that is softened to God's calling in our lives.
So basically, we are trusting that God has a better plan than us, and if it includes going blind, or not having our own biological kids, we may struggle with that, but in the end it will be the very best for us...because it is His will.
(I do realize that this sounds crazy and many people would not understand that at all, but I am ok with that...it is my journey)

more on my eye ( warning...long post)

ok...I know that I would write more about my eye, and for those of you that are interested here are the details from the beginning so everyone can understand what it the big deal. I only bring this up because yesterday I spoke with another patient that has similar problems with his eyes and it was really great to talk to someone with the same condition...a bit scary though, as he has been unable to drive a car for 4 years, and can no longer read either. But, here is my story

A little over 7 years ago I was a RT student & I am not really sure what was going on, but I remember standing outside of room 391, during ICU rounds and all of the sudden the center of my vision field went black in my right eye. It was very dramatic, just like that...however I was not extremely concerned just due to the fact that I had been having tons of issues with ear infections, and constantly sick, just due to the fact that I was being exposed to new germs and working what I thought at the time were "crazy" hours. So I didn't go in right away, but the blind spot stuck with me, so eventually I went in. I was immediately referred to a retinal specialist. I was pretty stubborn, so I insisted on going by myself...even though I know my mom wanted to go with me. I don't remember a lot about my exam, but I remember clearly that we sat down in his office afterwards. He looked at me and asked me if I took note of how old the other people in the waiting room were...he then proceeded to tell me that I was much younger than his average patient. & he was pretty sure that I had optic neuritis...which he told me was usually the 1st sign of Multiple Sclerosis. Now, I had just been to my friends mom's nursing home and she had been in a wheelchair for a good portion of her adult life, and was living in a nursing home (she now has passed away). So of course I was devastated!

I had an exam with a neurologist and an MRI, and that all came out perfect and I had no sign of MS, so eventually my eye got sort of back to normal...after a few months I could see out of it again, but everything was wavy...even with my glasses.

So I went on my merry way...then just over 2 years ago, I went to a new eye doc...just to follow up on stuff, and I was having some floaters/flashers. This guy was nicer (in fact, he golfs with my dad occasionally). He told me the floaters/flashers were nothing to be too worried about, but he did want to see me again.

The next time I saw him, the only complaint I had was that when I was driving, I could see a slight "bend" in things..you know, like the bend at the edge of your windshield, but I could see it more in the center...I was convinced that it was my car.

Well he got on the phone and called his buddy the director of vitreo-retinal services at the UofM, and told him he thought my retina was detaching and I needed to get there tomorrow. Well, that scared the crap out of me. That doctor seemed to think it would be ok to wait for a week...but I went home with strict instructions to not lift anything heavy etc. I went down there and finally a doctor that seemed to know what was going on...he immediately recognized what I had as Chorodial Osteoma...a very rare eye disorder...the choroid layer behind the retina that is the vascular supply layer, had ossifying bony tumors (non-cancerous). So we did all kinds of tests that day, and I had a treatment with laser surgery on my right eye. Turns out that "bend" in my windshield was really a "sub-retinal" bleed. So the laser burns the bleeding blood vessel.
So I was sold on this doctor...he was great, he knew what was going on, and he was really nice too. But he wanted me to go to the doctor in Fargo...the golfer...to just have someone in Fargo that knew what was going on, in case I had an emergency.

So I went back to the golfer, and he told me the "great" news that Meritcare had hired a new retina doc...I am thinking some 30 year old, brand new grad that won't have any idea what was going on. Turns out that I was wrong...Dr. jordan is not 30, and he is not a new grad...but he is very kind, and he actually listens to me. He started treating me about 14 months ago with this drug called lucentis...it is working, it is great. It also is very painful (injections right into my eye), and very expensive...the drug alone is $5,000 (thank goodness for insurance).

so that is the history...next post will be current issues

cheese...

I love crackers & cheese, and I fully intended to have them with a bottle of wine (ok, not a whole bottle)...but it is a pretty good Zinfandel...so I thought I was good to go...but when I opened my "deli" drawer in the fridge...first I was greeted with "dean's" cheese. He likes spicy pepperjack cheese. this had a fair amount of green 'hair'. which I promptly threw in the garbage. I pulled out my cheese...ok one of my cheeses. I have many varieties. but I intended to just have the plain old deli sliced colby jack. bad news...this had white hair on it...what the heck?!? so I am on the "baby bell" smoked gouda, and regular baby swiss...still good but not exactly what I was craving. Ok so now that everyone thinks that I never clean out my fridge...I am off to clean out my fridge...and drink some wine!

spring cleaning!

I must be getting in the mood for spring...I have been cleaning all day. I even cleaned the light fixtures in the bathroom...YUK! How does one house get so dusty? I am actually pretty good about dusting too...just not in the odd spots. Just me and my trusty Dyson buzzing around cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I don't really love to clean, but I love the results of a hard day's work. And since I am back to work tomorrow and thursday...today is the perfect day.

I also made the invite to Amanda's shower...it is on my website for those of you that want a preview.

we are going to grill out tonight...getting in the spring/summer mode. "beer butt chicken" , fish, grilled potatoes, & squash are on the menu...wanna come over for dinner? :)

my look for today

well...here is my look for today...obviously not a new fashion trend, but yep, got another injection this am...more thoughts later...

the upside is...check out how well exposed/composed this one eye'd self shot...fully manual (ok, not manual focus) this shot is...and check out those catchlights! not bad eh?

thank you Lord for sbx!

Dear Lord-
Thank you so much for giving someone the idea of starbucks coffee! especially this weekend!

dang lent...

dang lent (I gave up the elevator for lent)
and dang the dentist for having an office on the 7th floor! imagine me huffing & puffing up 7 flights of stairs in cute high-heel boots to get my teeth cleaned...welcome to my morning!

sweet baby

here's a peek at what I have been working on today! check out that big yawn!

2 monitors

finally...I can have my cake and eat it 2 (hahaha). yesterday I got what ever my new computer needed to make it able to support 2 monitors. So I can have one program on my old monitor...and one on my new monitor. It was quite a "hunt" for this card thing...but finally our quest it over and I am happy! Now if adobe comes through with my new program, I will even be happier! I am having a...'I love my computer day!'
I am working on my latest shoot...such a sweet baby. will post some soon!